15th January 2023

How difficult it is, to sum up my time with my dear cousin John in just a few paragraphs. For me, my cousin John wasn’t just another distant cousin in my life or distant relative to my family. He represented the bridge that connected the Oxleys in England to the Gillmans in Australia. It was he who remembered the care packages my great grandparents sent over to his family during the Second World War. It was he who kept the memory of our family close when sending his kids John Jnr. and Paul to visit the Gillmans many decades later. Only a few years ago, his Grandson Seb came from Bristol to visit us and got to know many of our family members. And it was John who answered my call one night in 2002 to help me solve the mystery of how Australia’s Greatest Opera Singer, Dame Nellie Melba, was related to both our families. It was such a blessing to be welcomed with open arms when my wife Vivienne and I came to visit John and his family in 2017. He was the last of my Grandpa Gillman’s generation and a second chance at acquiring long lost information about my Oxley relatives. Through our online calls after our return to Australia, John and I enjoyed the luxury of online calls, especially when the world was locked down. With his 60 years of teaching experience, he instructed me in public speaking to assist my performance in Toastmasters (a public speaking organisation) He was more than just a powerful vibe. He was more than the sum of his memories. He could be an enigma with his knowledge and yet be so open about his life. He loved to discuss world events and cared about people and animals when there were disasters around the world. It lead me to wonder about the gulf of time John experienced as the world changed between 1922 to 2022. Thanks especially to John’s son Paul and his daughter in-law Jackie, I was able to experience the day John turned 100! I was there when he received his card from the king. His reaction was as a boy receiving a golden ticket to visit a chocolate factory! And to have John’s jaw drop when he realised that I had been snuck into the country to help him celebrate his birthday… priceless! John was so proud of his family and his students. He would share with me the latest feedback comments from his Udemy Course online. He would occasionally pick up a picture of his latest great grandchild who had just been born and show it to me through the camera lens. He was particularly proud of his Grand Daughter Gabi who was interviewed on radio for the organisation Auti-Ms. When I left John last to go home to Australia, I said my last goodbye as if I knew I wasn’t going to see him again. I shook his hand but didn’t want to let go. He reacted in kind. I told him I was so grateful to have met him, to have gotten to know him. I told him I was very proud of him and his contributions to his family and the people he’d influenced. I take great comfort that John’s legacy continues with the Gillmans and the Oxleys closer together and that his students from the Bristol Old Vic. Theatre School who can now pass on his knowledge. David Gillman, Australia.